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[title] => Ništa bez ženske ruke na brodu! A ti ajde lipo u lučicu, vatat rake govnare...
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- Ajme, šta je danas vanka udrila vrućina … Jedva san došla doma. A znaš koga san jutros trevila u butigu? Meri! Govori mi da svaku toliko dan ona i njezin Pjero gredu brodicon na đitu, svaki put u drugu valu, da guštadu ka prasci… Pravi su judi o mora…
- Je li? Neka nji…
- A čuj, a šta ne bi i nas dvoje bar jedan put na šetemanu isplovili onin našin brodon, malo se smočit, okupat u čisto more… Ovako ti se ginga u Lučicu bez veze… Sad je došlo proliće, ako ne iskoristimo ovo lipo vrime, a kad ćemo?
- A di bi ti išla?
- Šta ja znan, evo, recimo, na južnu bandu Čiova. Lipo se usidrit šoto Gospe o’ Prizidnice, more čisto, mo’š ga pit. Ima tamo ona vela stina, ka sika, moreš se na nju sunčat, a mo’š se popet gori među bore ako ti je puno vruće… Dotle ti lipo uvatiš koju ribicu na udicu, ja je gori ispečen na gradele, jo gušta. A mogu ponit i ništo pohanoga mesa, oli dvi kobasice i malo kruva. I senf. Moremo guštat ka pravi judi o’ mora…
- Dobro govoriš, moremo, zašto da ne, samo pri tega moran još par stvari učinit na brod…
- Ka Bog, a dok ti to ne učiniš, gren ja skočit do Pazara šta kupit, da jemamo za ponit sebon. Ovi put nećemo ništa kuvat, nego onako usuvo, kruva i paštete, dvi, tri pome i koji kukumar… I po dvi boce ladnega piva u frižider, naravski, i Bog te veselija…
- Pomalo, govorin ti, moran prvo sve sredit i prekontrolisat, da ne ostanemo na po kanala ka lani, pa da opet moran veslat do našega veza… Ne bi o’srama smi višje ni doć u Lučicu…
- Uvik ti isto. A šta sad moraš tot još učinit? Pari mi se da se višje vrtiš oko te barke nego oko mene.
Sezonski radovi
- Da šta moran učinit? Ala šta si ti čudna! Ka prvo, moran pregledat motor i očistit svićice. I ona ručica od gasa mi se koji put zaglavi, moran zvat Duju da on to pogleda, on je meštar za sve, u sve se razumi. Samo mi je reka da ovu šetemanu nikako ne more, nego tek tamo iza prvega. Onda moran napunit rezervar benzinon, da ne ostanemo na po puta. Moran vidit i je li tendu od lani vitar raspara, triba li šta ušit, da nan je vitar ne odnese… a nemoš cili dan bit na suncu bez tende….
Naravno, moran pogledat i konope, da se nisu zamrsili, da sidro po potribi moren odma surgat u more. A vidiš, i oni špag za vezat brod za mul moran prominit, cili se rascufa. Onda još triban dat dvi ruke bajca na lantinu i ovu argolu o’ kormila. A pri tega sve to malo ostrugat karton deveron…
Sve se mislin bi li bilo bo’je sve to lipo izbrusit pa kupit važ verniža, i sve lipo lakirat, to ka bezbojin mat lakon. A možda i jarbolet, znaš kakvi je, mora bi ga bar proć pinelon. Triban i vidit kako se držidu skale za popet se iz mora, da ni šta puklo oli naciklo. Samo bi nan to tribalo da se ne moremo iz mora popet u brodicu.
A vidi ove pajole, to svakako moran ogratat pa piturat. A na zadnju, pri nego partimo, moran još pregledat i sve tunje i udice, biće se još od lani sve zamrsilo… I naravski pripremit ešku, a ne da se veren po sikan i skidan prilipke ka lani…
Još samo moran pregledat bokobrane, da koji špag ni izgnjija pa da ih ne izgubin.
Ovi put neću ponit podvodnu pušku, da ne izazivan vraga, nisan odavna tražija novu dozvolu… Ali zato ću sparićat masku i peraje. Moga bi ubrat i koje kilo pizdica, moran se samo sitit ponit koju mrižicu sitnega oka za ubacivat ih. Onda mo’š kad se navečer vratimo napravit buzaru od nji, a moremo i zvat kojega prijateja… Šta ti se pari?
Pari ka da jemaš krstaricu, a ne – istranku… Vidin ja da tot ima posla priko glave. A mogu li ti ja štagod dat ruke?
Moš! Znaš šta bi bilo pametno? Mi uvik sidimo na ove plastične klupe u kokpitu. A znaš i sama da liti kad se ugriju od sunca, ni lipo sest golon na vruću plastiku… Mogla bi ti stvarno lipo učinit male kušiniće, da moremo sidit ka sav pošteni svit.
Vidiš, ni ti ta ni luda…
E, ma bi ti prvo morali učinit šagum, uzet mire i oblik. Ovod je sve okolo oblo, triba ti škvara cota, nima ovod pravega kuta. Zato nan vaja kupit dva tri lista pakpapira i učinit ka kroj za svaki kušinić posebice. A onda vazest tanke spužve, recimo 3 oli još bo’je 8 centimetri debeljine. Pa onda to izmirit i kupit onu plastificiranu robu za tende. Pa ušit! Ja mislin da je to tebi ka ništa!
A čuj, mogu provat…
Mornarski posal
Evo, ti slobodno moš izabrat boju i uzorak, oš na cvitiće ili modru, oli onu koju najdeš u butigu… Kad ovo sve sredimo, ne smimo samo zaboravit ponit šugomane, a vaja nan nosit i koju kremu za sunčanje, da nas ne bi opalilo sunce… Ako bude bonaca ponit ćemo i koji libar za čitat, more i koju križaljku… I kemijsku… I karte za briškulu i trešetu… Eto vidiš, sve se more, samo triba imat strpljenja…
Eto, ništa bez ženske ruke. Nego, a zašto su po brodiman uvik samo muški, žena skoro da i nima…
Dobro i ti govoriš, ma tako ti je to još od starih dana. Težak je bija mornarski posal, ni lako batit more, naročito kad su nekad jedrenjaci misecima plovili priko oceana. Da je bila bar koja žena, ja mislin da bi je cila posada, da prostiš, sanjala svaku noć…
Ali da ne bi zaboravili kako ženska izgleda, užali bi na provu broda, na kljun broda stavit - pulenu, drvenu figuru žene, da i’ čuva od neveri i zlih duhova mora. Čuja san kako se priča da je jedan put jedan mornar zajašija na nju, pa su ga jedva skinili s nje i vezali špagon, pa su ti ga lipo itnili u more i tako potizali dvi, tri milje.
A je li znaš da je 18. maja Međunarodni dan žena u pomorstvu! To je proglasila Međunarodna pomorska organizacija Ujedinjenih nacija!
Lipo, ma znaš šta, gren se ja sunčat na Kašune, a ti ajde lipo u-u-u lučicu, vatat rake govnare…
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Ilustracija
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Nikša Stipaničev/Cropix
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Edo Šegvić
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- Ajme, šta je danas vanka udrila vrućina … Jedva san došla doma. A znaš koga san jutros trevila u butigu? Meri! Govori mi da svaku toliko dan ona i njezin Pjero gredu brodicon na đitu, svaki put u drugu valu, da guštadu ka prasci… Pravi su judi o mora…
- Je li? Neka nji…
- A čuj, a šta ne bi i nas dvoje bar jedan put na šetemanu isplovili onin našin brodon, malo se smočit, okupat u čisto more… Ovako ti se ginga u Lučicu bez veze… Sad je došlo proliće, ako ne iskoristimo ovo lipo vrime, a kad ćemo?
- A di bi ti išla?
- Šta ja znan, evo, recimo, na južnu bandu Čiova. Lipo se usidrit šoto Gospe o’ Prizidnice, more čisto, mo’š ga pit. Ima tamo ona vela stina, ka sika, moreš se na nju sunčat, a mo’š se popet gori među bore ako ti je puno vruće… Dotle ti lipo uvatiš koju ribicu na udicu, ja je gori ispečen na gradele, jo gušta. A mogu ponit i ništo pohanoga mesa, oli dvi kobasice i malo kruva. I senf. Moremo guštat ka pravi judi o’ mora…
- Dobro govoriš, moremo, zašto da ne, samo pri tega moran još par stvari učinit na brod…
- Ka Bog, a dok ti to ne učiniš, gren ja skočit do Pazara šta kupit, da jemamo za ponit sebon. Ovi put nećemo ništa kuvat, nego onako usuvo, kruva i paštete, dvi, tri pome i koji kukumar… I po dvi boce ladnega piva u frižider, naravski, i Bog te veselija…
- Pomalo, govorin ti, moran prvo sve sredit i prekontrolisat, da ne ostanemo na po kanala ka lani, pa da opet moran veslat do našega veza… Ne bi o’srama smi višje ni doć u Lučicu…
- Uvik ti isto. A šta sad moraš tot još učinit? Pari mi se da se višje vrtiš oko te barke nego oko mene.
Sezonski radovi
- Da šta moran učinit? Ala šta si ti čudna! Ka prvo, moran pregledat motor i očistit svićice. I ona ručica od gasa mi se koji put zaglavi, moran zvat Duju da on to pogleda, on je meštar za sve, u sve se razumi. Samo mi je reka da ovu šetemanu nikako ne more, nego tek tamo iza prvega. Onda moran napunit rezervar benzinon, da ne ostanemo na po puta. Moran vidit i je li tendu od lani vitar raspara, triba li šta ušit, da nan je vitar ne odnese… a nemoš cili dan bit na suncu bez tende….
Naravno, moran pogledat i konope, da se nisu zamrsili, da sidro po potribi moren odma surgat u more. A vidiš, i oni špag za vezat brod za mul moran prominit, cili se rascufa. Onda još triban dat dvi ruke bajca na lantinu i ovu argolu o’ kormila. A pri tega sve to malo ostrugat karton deveron…
Sve se mislin bi li bilo bo’je sve to lipo izbrusit pa kupit važ verniža, i sve lipo lakirat, to ka bezbojin mat lakon. A možda i jarbolet, znaš kakvi je, mora bi ga bar proć pinelon. Triban i vidit kako se držidu skale za popet se iz mora, da ni šta puklo oli naciklo. Samo bi nan to tribalo da se ne moremo iz mora popet u brodicu.
A vidi ove pajole, to svakako moran ogratat pa piturat. A na zadnju, pri nego partimo, moran još pregledat i sve tunje i udice, biće se još od lani sve zamrsilo… I naravski pripremit ešku, a ne da se veren po sikan i skidan prilipke ka lani…
Još samo moran pregledat bokobrane, da koji špag ni izgnjija pa da ih ne izgubin.
Ovi put neću ponit podvodnu pušku, da ne izazivan vraga, nisan odavna tražija novu dozvolu… Ali zato ću sparićat masku i peraje. Moga bi ubrat i koje kilo pizdica, moran se samo sitit ponit koju mrižicu sitnega oka za ubacivat ih. Onda mo’š kad se navečer vratimo napravit buzaru od nji, a moremo i zvat kojega prijateja… Šta ti se pari?
Pari ka da jemaš krstaricu, a ne – istranku… Vidin ja da tot ima posla priko glave. A mogu li ti ja štagod dat ruke?
Moš! Znaš šta bi bilo pametno? Mi uvik sidimo na ove plastične klupe u kokpitu. A znaš i sama da liti kad se ugriju od sunca, ni lipo sest golon na vruću plastiku… Mogla bi ti stvarno lipo učinit male kušiniće, da moremo sidit ka sav pošteni svit.
Vidiš, ni ti ta ni luda…
E, ma bi ti prvo morali učinit šagum, uzet mire i oblik. Ovod je sve okolo oblo, triba ti škvara cota, nima ovod pravega kuta. Zato nan vaja kupit dva tri lista pakpapira i učinit ka kroj za svaki kušinić posebice. A onda vazest tanke spužve, recimo 3 oli još bo’je 8 centimetri debeljine. Pa onda to izmirit i kupit onu plastificiranu robu za tende. Pa ušit! Ja mislin da je to tebi ka ništa!
A čuj, mogu provat…
Mornarski posal
Evo, ti slobodno moš izabrat boju i uzorak, oš na cvitiće ili modru, oli onu koju najdeš u butigu… Kad ovo sve sredimo, ne smimo samo zaboravit ponit šugomane, a vaja nan nosit i koju kremu za sunčanje, da nas ne bi opalilo sunce… Ako bude bonaca ponit ćemo i koji libar za čitat, more i koju križaljku… I kemijsku… I karte za briškulu i trešetu… Eto vidiš, sve se more, samo triba imat strpljenja…
Eto, ništa bez ženske ruke. Nego, a zašto su po brodiman uvik samo muški, žena skoro da i nima…
Dobro i ti govoriš, ma tako ti je to još od starih dana. Težak je bija mornarski posal, ni lako batit more, naročito kad su nekad jedrenjaci misecima plovili priko oceana. Da je bila bar koja žena, ja mislin da bi je cila posada, da prostiš, sanjala svaku noć…
Ali da ne bi zaboravili kako ženska izgleda, užali bi na provu broda, na kljun broda stavit - pulenu, drvenu figuru žene, da i’ čuva od neveri i zlih duhova mora. Čuja san kako se priča da je jedan put jedan mornar zajašija na nju, pa su ga jedva skinili s nje i vezali špagon, pa su ti ga lipo itnili u more i tako potizali dvi, tri milje.
A je li znaš da je 18. maja Međunarodni dan žena u pomorstvu! To je proglasila Međunarodna pomorska organizacija Ujedinjenih nacija!
Lipo, ma znaš šta, gren se ja sunčat na Kašune, a ti ajde lipo u-u-u lučicu, vatat rake govnare…
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12. svibanj 2024 17:55
